Birthday Dowry 

This is a something that as a parent I felt connected too and want all parents to read and understand. When a birthday celebration is taken as a social status, there is need for introspection because your child can be the next victim.

“I am a psychiatrist and few days back I had this six year old child as my patient. His parents indicated no obvious cause for his depression.
To assess the problem I started a conversation with him, asking all kinds of general questions. Intermittently I asked if somebody said anything to him, which he refused everytime. In the same flow I asked when is your birthday and suddenly he started crying. I knew I hit the right chord.

He had his birthday one and half month back and a birthday for a child is a big occasion. It’s the day when he/she gets all the limelight, specially nowadays when birthdays are celebrated like big occasions in school where you have to give all kinds of gifts to the whole class, cake cutting, sweets and many times even a party.

Seeing and expecting what his classmates do, he too craved for a pomp and glitter kind of birthday celebration so that he could also feel importance among his friends. The school even invite parents on the child’s birthday for cake cutting in the class.

This child’s parents are a middle class family and haven’t done anything like this in past, so they avoided going for the cake cutting, instead gave him a packet of toffees to distribute. Now isn’t it obvious when everyone else is distributing gifts on birthday, how low and odd you will feel while distributing toffees. You start feeling outclass. This is exactly what happened to this child.

Over the years, it seems that this birthday tradition has changed. The fancy celebrations are on the rise, putting a dowry like pressure on the child leading to depression.

I can understand the pressure for parents as well to meet or exceed the standards of celebrating a birthday. For many families, budget may be tight, and spending money on treats for the whole class is not a priority.

Celebrating a birthday at school is a special occasion for any child, but it can be celebrated by having some fun or a small treat from the school side, which should be same for every child. School officials should avoid promoting such celebrations and also explain to headstrong parents, that there is an important lesson here that kids need to understand: Birthday fun does not require cake and gifts.

Parents, schools and society at large must oppose it because celebration has no limit and tomorrow even our child can feel the same. It is easier to cut out the birthday celebrations entirely than to have children with sad feelings on their birthdays.

Give them a happy reason to celebrate occasions, not gifts and fancy parties. Well off parents has a special responsibility here- you can make your child feel special at your home, but at school let them be what they are- school going children.

As a psychiatrist, I request my doctor friends, teachers and others to share it because your words can create more impact on the psychology of the parents and the school administration.”

Credit – Doctors for ethical care( detcare) and thanks to them for allowing me to share this post as a blog because I feel it is important to convey. 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Birthday Dowry ”

  1. Excellent post, seriously people needs to have sense of dignity and respect towards others.
    The society and culture is getting down day by day.
    I can understand how awful it’s going on. That’s why more and more families across the globe are going towards homeschooling option. Since schools are not giving the education and discipline that they should be doing in the 1st place.
    I think Principals should be way strict in this regard. The concept of uniform comes from the same concensus that every kid is the same. They should be doing the same for such issues as well. One packet of toffee will be good enough

    Liked by 1 person

      1. These issues are everywhere across the globe more or less.

        Somewhere it’s these parties and other is the theme based party that’s another nonsense stuff I have observed on schools

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s