There’s a famous proverb in Urdu that says, “Tajarba wo kanghi hai Jo insan ko hamesha baal girne k baad hi milti hai”. (Experience is that comb which you can have only after losing hairs). Agree with it or not but to foresee ain’t everyone’s cup of tea. Same is the thing with failures and lessons we learn from it. You cannot plan for success and failure but the way you tackle with such situations is a great learning experience. Everyone behaves differently while being in almost similar situations, that’s where brought up, parenting and kid’s own experiences matter the most.
Being a parent myself now what I see lacking among our kids is the lesson to learn from failures and gain experience out of it. Kids of our age are extremely sensitive and well informed. They learn things way faster than us but are they learning to fail? With the warnings like, “beta test main full marks lana”, how can you boost kids self esteem if they get 8 out of 10 marks? It OK to say to your kids that there are enough toys, you don’t need more. It is OK to teach kids that if you want something then earn it. Make it a test for them. Let them disappoint sometimes when they’re expecting something from you. As a parent we should put kids in challenging situations rather than giving them ideal scenarios. Life is not a bed of roses and they should start learning early.
When I think about my 4 years old daughter I can surely say that she knows what’s 1st and 2nd (she even knows Top is better than 1st) but she has less knowledge about failures. She thinks if teacher will give her less marks then she’ll fail and she hates the description of it. She’s not ready to fail. She’s not ready to be disappointed.
One day she came crying from school and the reason was that the teacher hasn’t drawn a star on her hand while everybody else got it. How do you console kids in such situations? I took it as a challenge and started to make her believe that it is OK to sit on the second bench and it is OK to get 7 marks out of 10 but you shouldn’t stop trying. You can do better. She’s learning and I hope she grows up to be a better person. Failures help you grow and learn. Make every experience count be it failure.
Haar na mano balkay Haar ko harao taakay Jeet milay.
With #HaarKoHarao spirit I came across this TVC by surf excel which my kid can relate so well. When the coach wants to quit his job because the kids were failing as a team, little boy Haroon with lots of hope comes forward. Such is the spirit we need to instill in our kids. AAJ HARAY HAIN TOU KAL JEET BHI TOU SAKTAY HAIN? That’s exactly what every kid should believe in. This message is going to help a lot of kids learn resilience.
Let the kids try and learn new things. Let them experience. They’ll learn some, they’ll fail some but the experience with it will stay with them for life long. I get inspired with this TVC. Show it to your kids too and ask them what they get from it. Celebrate resilience.